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How to deal with being rejected by a university

Some advice for coping emotionally after receiving a rejection from a uni, along with some practical tips for what to do next.

Alyssa Abel
by Alyssa Abel
Last Updated:
19 Apr 2024

Validate your emotions


No one likes rejection in any form. Being turned down by a university is no exception. Remember, it's normal to feel down. Instead of thinking “I should have known” or trying to deny that you’re disappointed, face your feelings head-on and recognize that it’s okay to have a negative reaction at first.

Come to terms with your disappointment and sadness so you can address the situation properly. If you choose to ignore these emotions, you may feel even worse later. Rejection will happen more than once in your life – if this is the first time you faced it, it’s an opportunity to allow yourself to experience it, and then move on.

Find ways to relax


Whether you’re stressed about a possible rejection or you’re downcast because you’ve already received one, you’re not alone. Students around the world are facing the same struggles – in fact hundreds of thousands of UK students cite university applications as “the most stressful experience.”  

Take time to relax, take the pressure off yourself, and take care of your mental and physical health. It will go a long way, especially with exams looming that you need to be physically and mentally fresh for.

There are many ways to calm down and feel more at peace with your situation. Stress can affect your day-to-day life, so make self-care a priority. Sit in a quiet space and focus on taking deep, even breaths, or treat yourself to a warm, quiet bath. Take a day trip with a friend and take your mind off the situation. Your personal wellness is more important than any university decision, and it’s important to realize and work towards that now.

Create a list of pros and cons


When you plan your life around a specific university, it isn't very easy to envision yourself anywhere else. That's why, if you're rejected by one university, it's important to find positives in others. If you’ve applied to five unis through UCAS, you’ve probably been accepted somewhere else – even if you do receive a rejection from your favourite.

Take a look at the other university options and compare them side by side. Which has a better program? Is one farther away than the rest? Spend time considering the choices you do have so you feel excited about new possibilities.

If you’ve received multiple university rejections, don’t worry. Anyone who has already applied to university through UCAS can use the free UCAS Extra service to continue applying for courses. You can even apply for a different subject to your original choice if you’ve had a change of heart.

Another option is to forget about uni research for now, focus on your revision and getting good grades and then waiting until you have your results to apply through Clearing. Loads of students apply to uni this way, finding universities where they go on to be very happy and successful at.

Stick to what makes you happy


Don't think that you'll only ever be happy at one university. While it's true that your first choice university may have felt like the perfect fit, you can find similar qualities in other places. Unis offer loads of extracurricular activities to keep you busy during the week. Involve yourself in the culture of the campus so you don't spend all of your time wishing you were elsewhere. Who knows? Maybe your third choice was the best one all along.

Change your perspective


Have you ever heard of cognitive appraisal? It's a psychological strategy used to deal with unalterable situations, based on the ways we interpret and respond to situations. When something unfortunate occurs, you might feel initially and understandably upset – but you can work to change your interpretation of the circumstance and react in a positive way.

In this case, you've been rejected by a university. Take a sheet of paper and write down everything negative you feel about the situation. Then, write another letter in which you highlight the good that could come of this occurrence – such as the chance to discover a different university or the ease of choosing between fewer options. Throw away the page with your negative thoughts, and keep only the positive outcomes. This tactic can help you focus on adjusting your reaction and moving forward.

Chat to a friend


Experiences like this are best shared with others so you have support. Don't hesitate to talk to your family or friends about your emotions. It's likely that they've gone through something similar, so they can provide advice. If you sense that you need more help, speak with a professional. They can help you work through this process so you can make the right decisions for your future.

No matter what, try not to keep this bottled inside. Receiving a university rejection letter doesn’t mean your education is over, but it still stings. Others can guide you through these moments so you come out on top.

Visit other universities


Maybe you've applied to unis that you've never seen in person. Now's the time to visit them. Go on tours of each campus and learn about what they offer. Look at their classrooms and check out the surrounding town or city. Ask questions about courses and professors. Seeing yourself in a new university setting will help you let go of the one you won’t be attending.

There's no use in delaying this process. Doing so might make you feel even more stressed. Jump in head first and explore the other universities you're interested in so you can discover which one is the best option.

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Rejection doesn't define you


Above all else, try to remember that being rejected by a university doesn't define who you are – and it doesn’t determine whether you’ll be successful and happy. Even universities with the highest acceptance rates must make the difficult decision to turn down some students.

Instead of dwelling, begin to work through your emotions and focus on the future. You still have so much to look forward to.

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Alyssa Abel is a student life and education writer who enjoys helping students discover the right path to their futures. Follow her work on her blog, Syllabusy.

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