The Art of Bad Present Reactions
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We’ve all been there. Expecting at least a half decent present and getting something awful. Whether it’s a pair of itchy socks, a “funny” present you’ll never use or a jumper that you’re already planning on giving to the local charity shop, Christmas isn’t Christmas unless you’ve been given a truly terrible gift.
So, wouldn’t it be amazing to go on a course which teaches you how to deal with these festive disasters? From the initial unwrap and the correct amount of enthusiasm to fake, right up to how to get rid of it without getting caught, your BA in Bad Presents would see you through not only Christmas, but every birthday too.
Last Minute Present Shopping
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There’s always one (or every) present you still need to get on Christmas Eve. You battle through hordes of people, trying to find links between relevant family members and whatever’s left in the shops and spend most of your time queuing.
This fictional course would give you tips on last minute present shopping. From skipping queues and getting decent presents, to how to not be the person that everyone hates at the tills (you know who you are).
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Christmas is amazing because you get to watch your favourite Christmas movies once again. Whether you’re watching Kevin being Home Alone, Buddy the Elf telling you his favourite colour or the Miracle on 34
th Street, Christmas movies are a quick and easy way to get festive.
So, wouldn’t it be amazing if there was a university course that just showed Christmas movies? That would be worth every penny of your student loan, and not just because it would feel like Christmas every time you went to a lecture.
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If there’s one thing that’s predictable about Christmas, it’s that there’s always too much food in the house, as your family think that one day away from the supermarkets mean they have to buy enough to open their own shop.
You’ll always have about 180 bags of crisps, enough chocolate to last you for the next six months and a turkey so big you’ll be eating it for the next week and still have to throw most of it away.
Sounds like a Christmas course in how to eat all the festive food would surely go down a treat…or at least a course that teaches your folks the actual amount of
food they need to buy.
Winning at Board games 101
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If there’s anything that’s more anticipated than the turkey, it’s when the whole family gets together to play board games. It’s a time when everyone pretends they aren’t as competitive as an Apprentice candidate, when actually they’d push you into the ground if it meant they got an extra dollar in their Monopoly shaped pocket.
This course would teach you not only how to win, (and win gracefully), but how to catch grandma cheating as well as dealing with the tantrums of the youngest family member who threatens to stop playing umpteen timed because they’ve realised they can’t win.
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After so much food and merriment, it’s time for a nap, but with everyone on their phones primed to take a selfie with your snoring face, complete with the perfect snapchat filter and Instagram tag (#snoringlikeawarthog), it can be hard to get those much needed forty winks.
This course will all be about sleeping without getting snapped, how to be a napping ninja and sleep as much as you need without becoming a viral meme.
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